cyberspace – Speaking Soulish

This year I got suddenly absorbed by the Internet universe.

Before, I had almost no contact with the web society. Even though I had a Facebook profile, my whole life was happening in three dimensions of my physical environment and with people whom I knew personally.

Then, by pure chance, I started playing an online game, got myself a chat friend from across the globe and started a turbulent journey through an unknown field. The relationship increased in depth more than I thought was possible under the circumstances given. Thousands of kilometers suddenly felt irrelevant compared to spontaneity and easiness of feeling with the other soul.

As I was used to living in three dimensions, I soon managed to gather all my financial and emotional resources and visit a distant country, which so recently for me was only a toponym. For a short period of time, I could immerse myself in the other world, touch it, fall in love with it and leave it with the sense of leaving a part of myself behind. As I was crossing the Atlantic on my way home, I was watching the screen, showing the plane on the world map. I could almost see my soul on it, stretched across the ocean, belonging to two worlds which could never be united.

While I was coping with the contradiction of feeling the soul expansion along with being caught within a physically limited body, the Internet was still happening to me through social networks, which almost unnoticed became part of my life. Through a movielike twist, I met another friend, also a world away from me. Even though belonging to completely different cultures, some of our experiences happen to be so close and interconnected, that we have both been able to feel empathy almost physically.

Now my soul is expanding in other direction too, stretching further and further, like trying to embrace the whole planet. If I had enough time and money, I would now certainly be traveling this world and experiencing it whole in three dimensions.

I’m thinking that the cyberspace probably isn’t meant for people like me, who go for all or nothing in relationships. I have seen people comfortably seated in front of their computers, superficially touching worlds from a safe distance, entering and leaving them without really getting vulnerable. That seems so much easier!
For my way, it takes too much money, too much heart and a body that can take the pressure of the expanding soul.

Still, this is me. And the adventure is still on. 🙂