It has been a couple of years since I met him. We had a very limited amount of time together, yet intense and dream-like. We parted aware that we would hardly see each other again. A plot worthy of a book or a movie, though at least in the film adaptation I imagine we would be granted a happy ending. After all, happiness means two people ending up together. Or does it?
For a long time I really believed that it was all in him, because the experience was completely different than any I had ever had before. We were unrealistically in sync in those days, always wanting the same things, enjoying every second of our conversation and silence. It made only sense to believe that we were soul mates and that we would make a perfect couple for life – if life gave us the chance.
But that wasn`t the whole truth. Back in the day, it was not just me and him, but me and the whole world. Wherever I went, carrying my love for him, I spread love and received it back, from people as well as from animals. The most special thing was not happening with him, but inside of me. The intensity of my love, the spontaneity of its expression, the courage to pursue it – a world was opening up inside of me and reaching out to the outer world.
Once I said to a friend, talking about him. “Do you know what I love the most about him?” “What”, she asked. “My love for him”, I said.
Today she says that sentence of mine changed her life and helped her experience the wholeness of love within herself. I am not quite there yet, I still do seek fulfillment through a couple relationship. But what she experienced sounds like the whole point of human growth and development. This is the happy ending I want for my book one day.