What Love Is (Not)

Have you ever done a silly thing for love? I`m imagining you are smiling now, if you are thinking of some crazy action that you did to show your affection for someone. I know I am. I remember the moment I discovered myself capable of fighting for the one I love – it gave me a completely new dimension of being alive.

But have you ever done something self-deprecating for love, for example tolerating something that was bad for you? Maybe putting up with bullying, ghosting, cheating or being played seemed less scary than leaving? Maybe you justified your lack of consistency about your rights and needs with your love for the person being too strong? “I can`t leave him, I love him too much!”

I have heard it a lot of times. Still, I am sure that volunteering as a victim for the sake of love does not exist. Love does not dishonor anyone. It does not need victims. If I am feeling as a doormat in the relationship, chances are I am not loving the other person “too much”, rather I am appreciating myself too little.

If I am kind to both myself and the other party, love is always divine.

Even when I respect my boundaries.

Even when I say no.

Even when I set an ultimatum.

Even when I leave.

Nobody is a martyr of love, nor would that position be any romantic.

You don`t have to be a loving doormat, you can choose to be a loving king/queen.